Mash Up a Cure for Rage

Cell phone rage, checkout-line rage, air rage, road rage, wrap rage, IT rage -- "rage" is all the rage these days. In restaurants, museums, even libraries, so-called adults throw public tantrums.

Euphemism's magic wand may pretty things up, but can't transmogrify rudeness and its ilk into acceptable behaviour. Brains. Use yours; don't act like a two-year-old. 

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains." Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

It takes brilliance to come up with the series of well-reasoned put-downs that comedians Rick Mercer and Charlie Brooker call rants. Nothing is sacred and the bloodthirstier, the better. What people forget is comedy is an act -- not a model for social interaction.

Rick's advocating for kids here, not emulating one:

Rick Mercer ranting on killjoy, anti-snow-day, wet 

blankets. Hasn't he learnt that T.O.¹ gets slush, not snow?

Yes, infantile behaviour is enough to give a person rage rage.

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Courtesy amazon.ca

I see the problem as a blurring of the line between private and public life. As sociologist Erving Goffman would have put it, between on- and off-stage behaviour. Written in the 1950s, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, continues to speak to us. It may not be a page-turner, but it's sometimes compelling reading.

Presentation's basic premise is that we all play a variety of roles; we're not the same person at work, at home, or with our friends. Would you expect restaurant staff to behave the same way in the kitchen as in the dining room among the customers? Imagine what life would be like if we all played a single role. Not pretty. No fun either.

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So, what to do when you feel the next bout of gallery rage or even Stendhal's syndrome descending?

Here are a few suggestions:

(1) Seek consolation in philosophy.

(2) Lose yourself in a mashup book. Each a new storey built on a multi-layered old favourite. Think of these spun classics as you would spun sugar: light and airy with a bit of a crunch.

"What makes these novels so funny is that the characters will be going along, acting in their Victorian way, then suddenly bust out with swords (and heads) flying, and afterward simply tidy up the mess and continue on with their uptight lives." Literally Booked

Courtesy amazon.ca

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters takes the Regency romance to a new level -- sea level -- and gives a new definition to seafood. A tentacle-faced Colonel Brandon, underwater cities and the notorious Devonshire Fang-Beast. Blood and gore, Jane Austin style. By an author attacked by the plural of octopus. Fancy a visit to the seaside?

"It’s hard to say, in the end, if this is an homage, an exploitation, a deconstruction, or just a 300-page parlor trick. Although the sea-monster subplots, considered independently, rarely rise above pulp clichés, the book’s best moments do achieve a kind of bizarro symbiosis." Sam Anderson (New York Magazine)

Courtesy GoodReads

Louisa May Alcott's classic Civil War tale, Little Women gets a new slant with the incorporation of werewolves. In a climate of speciesism, the poor March girls of Little Women and Werewolves,  take on another burden by promoting interspecies understanding. In addition to the danger of consorting with werewolves, they face the xenophobic intimidation of vigilantes known as The Brigade. Marches marching between a rock and a hard place?

"3/5. By turns heartwarming and blood-curdling, this rejuvenated classic will be cherished and treasured by those who love a lesson in virtue almost as much as they enjoy a good old-fashioned dismemberment." GoodReads.

Courtesy amazon.com

Ever wish you would wake up one day to discover you were the long-lost child of royalty? Tired of living in the dark, the young Jane Slayre is being raised by vampires. Fed up with her cousins' murderous threats, she knows she was meant for better things. The stake-o-matic², for one. For some people, it's in the blood.

"I’m not a fan of the literary mash-up ... I'm unlikely to read many more in the genre but I would recommend Sherri Browning Erwin’s Jane Slayre as a great way to enjoy the best the genre currently has on offer." Gerard Wood (Science Fiction World)

Courtesy GoodReads

We've all heard that history is [re]written by the victors³. The historically revisionist Henry VIII: Wolfman, puts an entirely new spin on this enigmatic king. Discover the real reasons for Henry VIII's bloodthirsty reputation, Thomas More's downfall and what Henry found so special about Anne Boleyn. And why did that special envoy, with the underworld ties, hail from an anachronistic Belgium?

"7/10. [T]he cutting humour of The Thick of It – Moorat's Cardinal Wolsey is very much an ancestor of Peter Capaldi's spin doctor Malcolm Tucker. Couple that with some well-told moments of lupine mayhem, and conflicting urges within a werewolf, and you've got a highly enjoyable novel." Paul Simpson (Total Sci-Fi OnLine)

(3) Get some exercise. Go for a walk. Take some time off. A change of air often puts things into perspective. Watch Rick Mercer bond with budding engineers. If these were real-world conditions, there would be cracks in the cement and rebars rotten with road salt rust. Watch and see how many racers finish their run. As a bonus, learn the transgendered French for "Good Luck!"

Is concrete tobogganing an improvement over the traditional wood?

Now, take a deep breath, try to relax, and get on with life. Mañana⁴.

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Notes

¹ Toronto. You can tell from his pronunciation that Mercer's an out-of-towner. "Toe-ron-to". Good grief.
² One of Jane's inventions. Efficient and effective.
³ Churchill, maybe. Or maybe not. It depends upon who you ask and if you're willing to accept variations (eg, Machiavelli, attributed to Napoleon, and Eric Blair.)
⁴ Spanish for "tomorrow". When on holiday, rather than driving yourself crazy waiting for an overdue tour bus, guide, or be what may, repeat this word to yourself. Remember, you're supposed to be relaxing and having fun, not a heart attack. If it works, see if it transfers successfully off-holiday. Best of luck!

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Books mentioned

• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
• The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life
• Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
• Little Women (original)
• Little Women and Werewolves (mashup)
• Jane Slayre
• Henry VIII: Wolfman